Step 1: Think of an irritating person
For this exercise, think about a person who brings on mild to moderate irritation when you think about them. It should be someone you have actually met and who has irritated you or continues to irritate you when you’re in their presence. Don’t pick celebrities, politicians or other people you haven’t met.
Think about what irritates you about them. For example, it might be the things they say, their mannerisms, the way they treat people or the way they dress. If many things irritate you about them, pick the thing which is the most irritating about them and focus on that.
Check that what you’ve chosen feels OK to work on by yourself. If it feels unduly uncomfortable, stop and find something milder.
Step 2: Take a rating
Now you’ve picked a person and focused in on your feelings, take a rating using this scale:
Zero means you feel no irritation at all thinking about this person.
10 means extreme irritation or even anger.
Write down the number.
For this exercise your rating should ideally be between 2 and 8. If it’s more – or you fear it may become more – then pick someone else.
Notice and write down any physical sensations that go along with that rating, and any thoughts about the person.
If you had a particular image or scene in your mind, make a mental note of that image – you will be going back to it later.
Step 3: Do the EFT sequence
Tap the Side of Hand and say the following three times:
“Even though this person irritates me, I completely accept myself.”
Now tap each of the EFT points in turn saying the Reminder Phrase on each point as below:
| Top of Head: Eyebrow: Side of Eye: Under Eye: Under Nose: Chin: Collarbone: Under Arm: Thumb: Index Finger: Middle Finger: Little Finger: Side of Hand: Back of Hand: | “This person” “This person” “This person” “This person” “This person” “This person” “This person” “This person” “This person” “This person” “This person” “This person” “This person” “This person” |
Step 4: Think about the person again
Focus on the person again, and what you found irritating about them. If you had a particular image or scene in mind, focus on the same image again.
Step 5: Take a new rating
Using the same 0-10 scale as above, focus on the person and rate how irritated you feel right now.
Write this new number down.
Step 6: Decide whether to do more EFT
If your rating is zero you have finished this exercise – EFT has cleared your irritation.
If your rating is lower, but still greater than zero, we do EFT again to help bring the rating down further.
As noted above for the previous exercise, an intensity rating can go up initially as a result of focusing on the issue. This can be a sign that you were not as tuned into the issue as you could have been at the start and that you got more tuned in as a result of repeating the setup and reminder phrases. This is actually quite common and does not mean that you are doing it wrong or that EFT is not working. If this is the case then repeated rounds of EFT will normally bring the levels down again.
Tap the Side of Hand and say three times:
“Even though this person still irritates me, I completely accept myself.”
Now tap each of the EFT points in turn, saying the Reminder Phrase on each point as below:
| Top of Head: Eyebrow: Side of Eye: Under Eye: Under Nose: Chin: Collarbone: Under Arm: Thumb: Index Finger: Middle Finger: Little Finger: Side of Hand: Back of Hand: | “Still irritates me” “Still irritates me” “Still irritates me” “Still irritates me” “Still irritates me” “Still irritates me” “Still irritates me” “Still irritates me” “Still irritates me” “Still irritates me” “Still irritates me” “Still irritates me” “Still irritates me” “Still irritates me” |
Step 7: Take another rating
Think about the person again, and once again notice how much irritation you feel and what intensity you are at right now, using the same scale as above.
If you were focusing on a particular image or scene when you started, make sure you focus on the same image again now. Scan your body for physical sensations to make sure you are focusing on how you feel right at this moment.
Write down your final number and note any physical feelings and thoughts that go along with it.
If you noticed any physical sensations at the beginning, notice whether they are the same, reduced or different.
Take special care to note if what you are feeling now is irritation or whether it’s changed into some other kind of feeling. It’s quite common for one emotion to be released only to reveal a completely different sort of feeling underneath it. It might be a positive one, such as feeling compassion for the person, or it might be another negative one such as sadness. When this happens, this is a sure sign that EFT has shifted the emotion you targeted to start with. Make sure that you are still measuring your irritation, not any new feelings that might have come up.
By now you should hopefully have seen a fall in your rating. But you may have other signs that EFT is working, as listed in the next section.